When the Adult Child Won’t Do Anything...

Your 20 or 30 something year old adult child still resides in your home, has no job, is not in

school, is not doing much of anything each day. You are frustrated, nag him or her to do

something with their life but nothing ever changes. You have always provided for your child,

never making them do much to earn privileges, and you truly want to help them but they are going nowhere in life as an adult. However, your enabling of your child has stunted their ability to be a successful adult. And now you have an adult in your home and you cannot seem to motivate them to do anything. Why would they do anything that might feel like work when you have done everything for them and provided for them without any effort on their part.

There is hope however, you can still help your child develop skills to be successful in life. One option is to develop a “Rental Agreement” where the adult child pays “rent” by doing specific chores or actions in the home. Parents and the adult child will all need to sign the agreement, as it needs to be considered an official document. In addition to specific chores in the home, other “rent” payments could be obtained by getting a job or taking classes at a community college or trade school, etc. If they fail to comply with the rental agreement, they will be evicted.

You MUST follow-though on any actions, including eviction, otherwise they will not believe

anything you say and you will once again lose your authority in the home. Being consistent in

enforcing rules and consequences is a must as a parent. Stop paying for cell phones, the car’s gas, etc. without them earning the funds by complying with the rental agreement. Stop enabling the unmotivated behavior and start empowering your adult child to succeed. Give them a reason to behave like an adult.